Pay It forward and Thank You backward


Bearing Gifts

A good business friend of mine loves to reference a scene from the movie “The Mexican” where Julia Roberts screams from the window to Brad Pitt, “It’s all about you!”

When in a job search it is human nature to not only feel it is all about us, but feel the urgency to make it work for us now.  Although there are millions of people unemployed everyone’s specific circumstances are different. Therefore, we feel as if our situation is unique and because of its uniqueness, it must be resolved immediately.

When we face any challenge in our life it is very natural from a human behavior perspective to lock in on the challenge, almost with tunnel vision. Every waking minute is used thinking about this challenge accompanied by a long list of emotions leaving us with only one constant thought: We must do something as quick as possible to remove this pain and frustration of being unemployed.

Our reaction to all of this frantic and complex mental energy and exertion is the desire to overcome this problem immediately. We set out as good students to learn everything we can, diagnosing the issue in hopes of quickly coming to a resolution. During this activity we become sponges, soaking up every bit of information and ideas from everyone and everywhere.  We hope to be able to condense the information and put together the right formula to instantly land that job offer. Our urgency and push is to be relieved of the anxiety, stress and frustration that goes with being unemployed.

In our haste to gather this information, we may forget the very fundamental principles involved in building long lasting personal relationships, confidence, gratitude, appreciation, the power of putting others first:

Pay it forward, and Thank You backward.

Most everyone has heard of the concept of paying it forward. Paying it forward is in essence, passing on the good deed someone did for you. You in turn now do a favor for someone else. This method is never more important than when in a job search. Why? Because just as I alluded to earlier, becoming self-focused is extremely natural when in a job search and it can work severely to your disadvantage. For most people, there is nothing more important that landing a job for all of the obvious reasons. 

However, the more you focus on yourself, the less you may focus on others.  Often one of the biggest mistakes job seekers makes is to be so immersed in their own plight that they lose interest in helping those around them, paying it forward and saying thank you backward. 

Yet, there actually is a magical result that occurs when we focus our attention on others. Why? When we focus our attention on others, and truly seek to find ways to help them, we not only feel great in the process, but our self-esteem rises as we recognize our value in the world. This increase is self-esteem and self-confidence is not lost in helping someone. We carry that self-confidence into our next meeting with a new connection, the next email we send, the next smile and handshake we deliver and of course, in our next interview.  In addition, paying it forward opens you up to receive, yes, receive, because when you give help you will find more help will come to you. Hoarding actually by its nature is that of constriction and contradiction – the exact opposite effect you might have attempted to generate.

At the same time, a thank you backward – thanking someone who helped you so you can then pay it forward on to someone else is just as vital in a job search process. You again recognize and are grateful for someone taking the time to help you. Be absolutely sure you follow up with an email or even a phone call specifically thanking that person for any help or support you were provided. If you met in person, did you buy your new networking connection a cup of coffee? If they paid for yours, take the time to mail them a gift card as a special way to thank them for taking the time out of their busy schedule to help you. Do you think you will be remembered?

Taking the time out of your busy search to specifically thank someone who might have taken the time to send you an email checking on you, providing emotional support or describing recommendations is just the right thing to do. Taking the time to say thank you says much about you, that this job search is not “All about you”.  Paying it forward is important, but when you say thank you to someone in words or actions, it is perceived as something special by the recipient. Saying or taking action to provide a thank you demonstrates your character.

One of the unique benefits of a job search is the wonderful people met along the way. Some of these relationships will last many years, and continue to provide support and assistance in many ways.  As you radiate the real you in all directions, more people will see your value.  Your value is seen at its best when you pay it forward and thank you backward.

The steps to achieving goals

Beyond intent poem final

A New Year, A New Perspective

Happy New Year!

The new year brings with it an opportunity for a fresh perspective. If you are struggling in a job search or are frustrated in breaking through to land that new job, then now is the time to consider viewing your search from a different perspective. Having studied human behavior for over 25 years, I have learned (and I will say often the hard way!) that our thoughts, beliefs and actions drive and create our results.

Understanding how and why we do what we do, as well as how others think and perceive the world made a massive positive impact on my ability to achieve goals. For example, fear is the most significant factor in a job search. We wonder “Why me?”, “Why now?”, “Which direction should I go and can I get there?” and “Will it ever end?” Our natural tendency is to focus time and energy on these questions, that leaves us frustrated and in a negative mood that gets transfered into our job search.

Job search pushes us out of what psychologists call our “comfort zone.” Willingness to address our fear and push ourselves out of our comfort zone is how all successful people achieve their goals.

Further, when we look at our experiences, taking the time to step back and view what has occurred, we find they “mirror” our beliefs about life. If we believe the job search process is biased, we tend to experience that bias. If we believe people are helpful, then we find helpful people. Watch your thoughts because that is where your mental, physical and mental energy goes. And most importantly, what you experience will reflect those thoughts.
When I understood human behavior and how what we believe, think and act on impacts our search, I viewed job search tactics differently. I approached the tactics from a different angle realizing the real key within each one. The 50 Unique and Powerful Job Search Program (Now at a special New Year price, see below) explains these concepts and much more in extensive detail. In addition, there is proven and effective insight on how to have a successful mindset, remain positive and persistent in your job search, maintain self-confidence and achieve any goal when learning how to view challenges from a different perspective. And discover how to move away from the concept of “This happened to me.”

Now receive a special discount on the program for the New Year at 20% off using the coupon code newyear14. This program includes both of my books that reached the top 5 in Kindle downloads, one of which hit #1 in the Self-help/Happiness category. Besides standard job search tactics this program addresses in a different perspective:

1. How to overcome the hiring manager’s concern that you are overqualified. This is different from what you may have read or heard.

2. The mistake of targeting your next position.

3. How straddling kills your job search results.

4. We were all taught the magical formula for success is to work hard, be honest and ethical. And yet why doesn’t it always work? I will explain why it doesn’t and show you what does drive success.

5. What people miss when networking.

6. Getting the offer isn’t because of your technical knowledge and expertise, but what does get you the offer.

7. Recruiters don’t work for you, but how to get them to.

8. The revealing questions to ask recruiters before an interview.

9. Why you can’t go back and how looking back will kill your job search.

10. Why having a target list of companies sets you up for failure. Yes, it does and I will explain even though you may have success with one, why in the end it can work against you.

11. How to be remembered and stand out after an interview, especially when there are 10-15 other candidates.

12. How to stay motivated, excited and upbeat while conducting your job search.

13. The one interview mistake most people make if they have been out of work for over 6 months.

14. The mindset of successful people and why it is different than most people.

15. THE most insightful question to ask in an interview to set you up for success! This subtle question is unique and gives you keen insight into the hiring manager’s needs and requirements.

16. The real keys to “closing the sale” – and probably not what you have heard.

This is your year for a break through.  You have the talent, you have great work experience, a great resume and accomplishments. Mindset is the key to success.  Now it’s your turn. Click here to download this program today   (There are now 50 Keys!)